Checking In...

Hey, so those of you still even bothering to check my blog after a week of inactivity will be disappointed to hear that I'm putting the Uncle Jesse column that I planned to finally write today aside. I had a ton of work over the weekend and every time I got a free moment I decided against writing the article because Uncle Jesse deserves much more than a rushed piece on his coolness.

So I finally set aside time today to write the article and then heard about the VA Tech school shootings today.

After hearing about a tragedy like this, it seems a little too lighthearted to be discussing today. I'll get to it later this week (hopefully Thursday) because right now seems a little inappropriate for talking about a sitcom from 15 years ago.

Anyways, my thoughts and prayers are with the victims of the shootings and their families. I'll be updating later this week with hopefully a much more cheerful blog.

Dude!

First of all, sorry for that 5-day hiatus. Between schoolwork, the holiday weekend, and general laziness, I haven't been updating and I know all three of you reading this can't get through a workday without your fix of The Plethora. I vow to do my best to not leave that long of a period between posts.

Anyways, I felt it was necessary to start weighing in on some of the coolest '80s and '90s sitcom characters in memory. And who better to start with that guy who lived just outside the Lambert household in his sweet-ass van playing electric guitar and giving sound advice in his California-dreamin' dialect: Cody Lambert.

Cody, played by the talented Sasha Mitchell, simultaneously defined comic relief and also grounding the rest of the family by helping to settle disputes between the rival factions of the newly linked family. His lifestyle was relaxed, his wardrobe fantastic, and his demeanor was a much needed calming influence on the tension created by the differences in upbringing between Carol's uptight children and Frank's under-managed kin. Even when his vocabulary wasn't what you'd expect from the voice of reason, sometimes it takes a guy removed from the fight to present the most logical solution.

Always ready to help out a family member feeling down, he could lighten up someone's day with a great compliment or a clever joke. Port Washington, Wisconsin benefitted from having him around. For example, would Mark have ever rectified his relationship problems with the equally-nerdy, yet mysteriously attractive girlfriend Gabrielle if Cody never countered J.T.'s "boneheaded" advice about women? Never!

I was lucky enough to catch a couple episodes once again today on ABC Family and, let me tell you, his words ring even truer in this crazy crazy world. I think he might be able to solve many of the problems today if we only gave him a chance. And even though he HAS to be on some kind of drugs (you know that van has to contain some illegal substances), sometimes you need to look to the Cod-Man to understand that some problems can be solved with a hearty chuckle, a smile, and a "Dude!"

Here is an example of the insight Cody might provide to current U.S. issues...

Iraq War - "The Georgemeister! Dude! You need to relax, man. You gotta hear what other people are saying...then you could totally like hang out nearby in case there's a problem."
Global Warming - "Oh man...dude, that's rough. We should like totally use the wind to power stuff. It's like a pinwheel...DUDE! We should just set up big pinwheels everywhere! No way! That'd be totally awesome!"
Cancer - "Woah...we need to keep researching cures and stuff and not do stuff that causes cancer. Maybe get some new cures through cancer research places like Dana-Farber. The Dana-Burger!"

More recent Sasha news...
In addition to being a Calvin Klein model, Mitchell also enjoyed his status as the successor to Van Damme in the "Kickboxer" movies, starring as an ass-kicking action star in Kickboxer II, III, and IV. Apparently, some reporter also said he's the "World's Biggest Jerk." I have no idea why...I'm just saying I found that. Maybe he was playing his electric guitar too loud in his trailer and it bothered this person.

This world would be a better place if we had a Cody living in the driveway (AKA Canada) to come in and help us relax while solving our global issues.

Next up: Uncle Jesse, the Greek God of Coolness...

I didn't post yesterday...you're wasting your time!

Yeah, I had a ton of work Tuesday and I didn't have time to come up with a useless topic to ramble on. Sorry folks...considering Adam is the only one to comment consistently I probably only saddened one person. However, my Catholic guilt got to me, so I had to post something. Therefore, enjoy this clip of Conan O'Brien inserted into a bunch of my favorite shows I plan to talk about at a future date (Hint: I don't watch House and "To Catch a Predator" doesn't come on enough to be considered a true show). Enjoy...I'll be back tomorrow around midday after I set my lineup for fantasy baseball.

Phoning it in...

Yeah, so I'm not at work today and I slept in, so I don't have the time to really sit and chat. I've got a ton of work piled up for the last four weeks of the semester and I need to get moving. However, I will give you a few funny clips to watch and a couple of quick thoughts to get you through the last two hours of your day and give me 15 minutes to procrastinate on my work.

Feel free to bitch and moan, but yes, I'm phoning it in today. Deal with it...

Also, I randomly decided to put a picture of Pee-Wee Herman in my blog with no reason in mind other than that he played one of the weirdest roles ever on Reno 911 and had an appearance in a Cheech and Chong movie ("Nice Dreams"). Then I look at IMDB and discover they are in pre-production for a new Pee-Wee Herman movie! I don't know whether I should be excited or afraid...but all I know is Cowboy Curtis better be in the movie because nothing says a successful career like moving from Pee-Wee's Playhouse to playing Morpheus and then back to giggling like a moron in a children's show.


Alright, so first off, a few things on my mind:
- Is it me or did "Welcome Freshmen" springboard absolutely nobody to stardom? IMDB only has one of the cast members even listed!
- Stick Stickly was the most underrated afternoon television host in history. Not only could you make your own Stick Stickly by eating a popsicle and adding googly-eyes and a few bits of arts-and-crafts materials, but he was never afraid to risk being stepped on to bring us another episode of Doug. Suck on this, Geraldo!


If you have any fanmail, put it in a self-addressed, stamped envelope and write to him:
Stick Stickly
P.O. Box 963
New York City, New York State 10108

- I want to punch John Mellencamp in the throat. They made a baseball-related "This is Our Country" ad so now we don't even get the summer off from that damn song...Please join me in boycotting Chevy products to get the entire company to go bankrupt just so that commercial goes away. More on this sometime in the future I'm sure...
- Baseball season is here and I couldn't be happier. I'm sure I'll torment all you non-baseball fans a few times this year when I need to vent (but I'll do my best not to). One quick comment though: I think Matsuzaka and Tom Brady need to start going out on the town together. Brady can use the power of his cleft chin to land D-Mat a few supermodels and then Dice-K will impress them all by drinking an entire Asahi Super-Dry in 2 seconds. Don't believe me?



Yeah, this guy will fit into the Boston landscape just fine if he can slam a beer.
- Finally, my bracket completely crapped out in the Final Four when both Georgetown and UCLA lost. So now I must root for Ohio State to prevent Florida fans from getting even more cocky about their sports teams. Please join me in doing the same...

Alright, I guarantee a bigger, better, and longer one tomorrow (that's what he said). Until then, enjoy the greatest performance by a nerdy fraternity involving a guy nicknamed Booger, a gong, and a flamboyant singer dancing with a guy who looks suspiciously like Sponge Harris.