Prison is so hot!

It's now "in" to be in trouble again. Just look at Paris Hilton... she will be in prison for 45 days for violating her probation and driving with a suspended license after she got busted on a DUI. The system worked perfectly: she got caught screwing up, the judge said she gets one more chance (which he did NOT have to give her), she blew it, and she pays the price. No one has any right to complain about this.

Then I see this petition that she apparently helped make. First of all, I'm disgusted that there are actually 10,000 people in this country who feel that her "contributions" to society warrant her getting off without any punishment. What kind of person actually agrees that "She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives?!?" She's an heiress who coupled her money with her mediocre looks in order to springboard herself into a crappy pop music career, a reality show where people laughed at her more than with her, a modeling career that only flourishes because of her last name, and she only gets the "sex symbol" attention she does because guys figure she's attainable because she gives off the vibe that she would sleep with anything with a pulse and a free appendage.

Then, to make the claim that she deserves the same treatment as Richard Nixon is ridiculous. Sure, Nixon screwed up, too, and probably shouldn't have gotten off as he did (I feel Ford's pardon was more of a "the country is better off to just forget this ever happened" move than forgiveness), but Paris Hilton? One person ran the country, the other can't hold a minimum wage job without treating it like a vacation and probably would have choked on her own vomit by now if she didn't have an entourage of people with her at all times. Why does she deserve treatment different from anyone else? Celebrities don't deserve preferential treatment... and neither does Paris.

Finally, the list of people that have gotten off for similar charges doesn't support the movement for a pardon for a few reasons. One: what "slap on the wrist" did those other celebs get? I bet it was probation. Yeah, and when you violate probabtion, that's when the hammer drops. She violated probation... her fault. Two: You honestly think that because they got off, so should Paris? If anything, that reminds me how stupid it is that any of them got off lightly and makes me want to punish Paris further. In fact, bring 'em all back in for a harsher sentence. And three: who are the people signing the petition to state that Paris that those other celebrities aren't also "sincere, apologetic, and full of regret for [their] actions" and that they don't deserve forgiveness? Unless you know them all personally and can gauge their emotions, you cannot use this as an argument. It's 45 days... celebrities have gone to prison before. I'm sure her "career" will be fine...

"You, my friend, would be da belle of da ball..."

More fun with the justice system and illegal actions:
- Michael Vick has been getting into trouble thanks to the water bottle incident and his latest escapades of people training fight dogs for sport in his house in Virginia. He says he had no idea it was happening and it was all his friends. Really gross stuff... I think he might want to get some new friends.
- Ricky Williams tested positive for marijuana AGAIN. He wants to make a return to football, but he can't put down the pot for long enough to get substance clearance. Sadly, I feel like this is far less of an issue than steroids in sports, but he's getting much more attention. But don't try to say he'll be out of football shape because honestly, for the past few years, you just couldn't get him off the grass... Thank you! I'll be here all week...
- Now that it's been about a full season or so, picture the Lost plot with Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthia Watros' characters (Anna-Lucia and Libby) still somehow involved. If they didn't get DUI charges, think about where those two characters might be. My guess is the latter would be stuck to Hurley after a mishap during intercourse...dude...

Speaking of Lost, next week's lineup will feature something mysterious on Monday (in that I have no idea what my "rant" piece will be on, especially since my Frivolous Friday turned into a mini-rant as it is...never fear because something will piss me off before Monday.) and a Lost character will be featured in the first ever Bad-Ass Feature about a character still active in a TV show. You don't want to miss it, Freckles... here's something to get you in the mood.



Anyways, I'm off for my first full weekend as a man free from schoolwork...catch you all Monday.